Suicide Awareness Week

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”

~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

This week is a focus on suicide awareness as we attempt to raise understanding of depression, mental illness, and the consequences of not treating them. Please read the transcript of today's #SuicideChat as it is national #suicide awareness week. Imagine a #worldwithoutsuicide . Link:http://t.co/wJdy9IFhny

I have written before about being the last to speak to my grandfather before he took his own life. This was in my younger years. I also unfortunately felt depressed to the point of attempting to do the same. By the grace of God I did not succeed. As I look back on now more than forty years on this earth; I see joy in a daughter growing up and sadness in others who use suicide threats as a lashing out for self indulged hurt.

The difficulty in all of this is that very few of us are medical and mental health professionals with the keen understanding of how to recognize when there is a cry for help or simply a cry for attention. In either case, there needs to be swift response; the risk of consequence is too grave to afford idle reaction.

If you yourself feel in crisis, or you recognize that in another, call. Please. Now. 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Go to www.afsp,org and learn the signs and best responses to this frightening situation. Please trust me when I say you will likely not be saving just one life; but the others left behind should you or your loved one succeed.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Depression

"You largely constructed your depression. It wasn't given to you. Therefore, you can deconstruct it." ~ Albert Ellis

     I unfortunately have seen depression strike a close family friend; she lost her brother to suicide and my thoughts and prayers remain with her and those left behind.

     Depression is a complex feeling; it can overwhelm and envelope more than the most communicable of diseases.  When one is in the throes of depression, they often are too entangled in an advanced stage to either find their own way out or recognize who to reach out to for the help so desperately needed.

    There are countless homes and countless lives enduring overwhelming obstacles.  Some of those are made from their own hands; some from outside forces.  Loss of jobs, loss of family and loss of one's own sense of self worth can combine to create a despair that few can overcome alone.

   Which is why it is incumbent upon us to look out after ourselves first, our loved ones second, and then our fellow man.  Idle hands and silent voices will do nothing to stem the tide of senseless losses of life.  Do we need to see another report someone feeling it is better to end their life, and needlessly take others, than to heal and live it?

     A teenager feels at wit's end and goes on a killing spree in an innocent school.  A father takes his wife and child to an early grave with him.  A young man feels so lost and alone that he does not want to see another day.  Time and time again these scenes play out locally and across the country.

    I implore anyone who reads this to take the time and learn what the signs are to see that a person needs help.  I plead with anyone who is feeling so lost they are considering a drastic measure to call 1(800)273-TALK (8255).

    And, if you are like me with themarks of   suicide permanently touching your life; then please look into the American Federation for Suicide Prevention.

There is a wealth of assistance here; 

     http://www.afsp.org/

     Lastly, I am helping honor the young man's memory as well as that of my grandfather.  I was the last to speak with him before he took his own life.  I also, in a young age, felt at wit's end and attempted to take my own life.  I was blessed and guided by the hand of God to survive and am honor bound to pay that gift forward.  In any way you can, please help me do so here;

     http://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&participantID=435300

Thank you for taking the time to read this.  

   

Overnight Journey

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. ~ Lao Tzo 

     I have read the news of the unfortunate suicide of Rick Warren's son.  I can not fathom the thought of dealing with your own child taking the very life your sacrificed and provided for them to have.  I only hope our Lord and time bring peace to every heavy heart wrought with such tragedy.

     In the next two months, I will be taking a journey called the Overnight Walk.  I will be posting in my Twitter feed (@DaveHuberEsq) updates on my preparation for this event.  A link to the story I have is located here:  
http://theovernight.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&participantID=6260

     I have said before that suicide is viewed as a cowardly act.  Those who commit suicide see that act as the antithesis; bravery in self sacrifice to prevent our loved ones from enduring the pain we believe we cause for them/ourselves.  Ultimately, the one suffering in depression and despair can not see how temporary their strife is.  Ultimately it is the survivors and the ones left behind who are tasked with dealing with the loss.  As Phil Donahue said, "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem".

     Right now we are going through an engaging debate about gun control and regulating the access to firearms; especially what can be perceived as high-powered weapons that many feel have no place for public access or use.  What is being lost in this great debate is the mental health desperate situation in our world.  Americans are hurting; loss of jobs, loss of relationships, loss of one's own pride due to being unable to provide and care for themselves and those they love.  Young Americans are going to extreme acts of senseless slaughter to either be heard or go out in some perceived blaze of glory.  This is a problem; one that deserves equal measure as we give how many bullets should we allow a gun on the street to hold.

     Until mental health loses the stigma of required secrecy and shame, I fear we will have more senseless "12/14's" .  How many dates do we need to remember before we wake up and realize that one was too many?  

     Lastly, if you are depressed and feel overwhelmed, please reach out for help. Please call (800)273-TALK (8255) if you are in suicidal crisis.  If you unfortunately are left behind from someone's suicide; please visit https://www.afsp.org/survivingsuicideloss .

    Thank you for taking the time to read this post.  I hope it inspires you to listen when someone says they need help and act when the situation calls for it.

Anger and Bitterness

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

     Today we celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  Many of us are enjoying a day away from work, school, and other responsibilities that soon will return.  However, I have noticed a constant that is growing in volume in both professional and interpersonal interaction; a fearful rise of bitterness, anger, and hatred directed at both a singular individual and a group of individuals one presumes are the source of the wrongs in their lives.
A wise sage once said that fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering.

     We are watching the inauguration of President Obama's second term.  Regardless of how your vote was cast; we as a people need to get past the inner bitterness to overcome the ills and difficulties we all face.  It is a wonder that this nation can have its citizens cast their votes peaceably and then witness the head of state sworn in in equal peaceful measure.  We have our past, present, and future soldiers to thank for the defense and protection of that very uniqueness.

     I am not sure how to unravel the knotted bitterness we as a country evidently convey.  I am sadly failing at unraveling the same bitterness on a less grandiose and more personal scale.  My practice in both as a counselor and instructor has been to plant seeds; instill a thought or concept and let those who sit across from me and in a classroom before me allow the seed to take root.  In that vein, I am going to list a stream-of consciousness quotes and ideas to help begin to overcome the path of anger.

"We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Can you wait patiently until your mud settles and your water is clear? Can you remain unmoving until right action arises of itself?" ~ Lao Tzu  "Tao Te Ching"

"Growth in wisdom may be exactly measured by decrease in bitterness." ~ Friedrich Nietzschke

"It is better to live in peace than in bitterness and strife." ~ Confucius

"Let a man overcome his selfish terror at his own finitude, and his finitude is, in one sense, overcome." ~ George Santayana

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." ~ Buddha

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured." ~ Mark Twain

"Anger and intolerance are the enemies to correct understanding." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame." ~ Benjamin Franklin

"Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools." ~ Albert Einstein

"For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes." ~ Cato

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger." ~ Buddha

"Anger is a stone cast into a wasp's nest." ~ Pope Paul VI

"He is a fool who cannot become anger; but he is a wise man who will not." ~ Seneca

"People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be." ~ Abraham Lincoln