“I always prefer to believe the best of everybody; it saves so much trouble.” ― Rudyard Kipling
This is our amazing daughter, Julianna Grace. I know there are legal announcements concerning mortgage modification, foreclosures in New Jersey, governmental settlements, secret service dalliances, and gas price roullete (let alone war, the stock market, and any of our world in 2012). We'll leave those topics for another day.
Just recently, I "celebrated" my 39th birthday. I am not really sure you can say celebrate once those numbers eerily approach "4-0" (gasp, horror, shudder). In between my birthday and the end of March, we marked what would have been my father's 69th birthday. It's been over ten years since he left us; every smile, laugh, tear and hug with my daughter just makes me miss "Grandpop Ronnie" not being here to share them as well.
So our daughter is growing up in her three's and is learning the dreaded "why?". I figured now is a good time as ever to jot down some life lessons my dad taught me, I have learned through *gasp again* 39 years on this earth, and have been taught both the easy and hard way. Please feel free to respond or send to me those lessons you have learned in similar fashion and perhaps we can help one another impress values and understanding in the younger generation we are honored and tasked with the responsibility to raise.
And Julianna, when you do read this, please know that you are the best of Daddy. You have been since you came into our lives. Also know that Daddy wants you to be better than him, learn from his mistakes (and those you have made, too), and how much your Daddy and Mommy adore you. You will always be our love, light of our mornings and calming kiss goodnight.
The first lesson I could share is to read the Desiderata . I have since high school and could continuously use the guidance it shares. It has been framed in my room at Phi Tau , my apartment in Law School, offices I have had, and for now sits in our home. Read it, understand it, and know why your Dad has held it in high regard through his life.
The second lesson comes from your Grandfather as he instilled in me; respect and honor your mother. She has sacrificed for you beyond measure and will continue to do so without asking for anything in return. All because you hold the special title of "daughter". Cherish the love she shares with you and you give in return; let the "love you lots" from these younger years only grow stronger throughout your older ones.
You have a talent and ability that are gifts from God. Enjoy them, hone them, share them with those who appreciate those talents and skills. We may not fully know them now when you are three; but your mother and I promise not to hold you back from developing them when they come to full light.
In the same vein, strive to not "be like Daddy" or "be like Mommy". We want you to be Julianna Grace, with all the amazing qualities your individuality possesses. Remember the back of Daddy's business cards, "Whatever you are, be a good one."
That quote is from Abraham Lincoln, perhaps our greatest President and whose life, times, philosophy, and period in our history you should read from my books (or whatever the iPad/iPhone bookshelf will have become). I am certain you could apply the teachings and see similarities in the society we have now and in the future when you read this.
Learn. Study. Whatever your mind hungers to know more of; do so in all fashion and ability. This your Grandfather wanted to make sure I did when growing up and your mother and I will hope you will follow suit. "Knowledge is power" is a cliche that is misguided; knowledge is becoming keenly aware of where you are from, where you are going, and the same directions of those you encounter.
Make sure you are always sincere and honest with everyone you meet. I can't take credit for this; your Grandfather and Uncles are the ones. Your father simply has been blessed with those who were in his life from childhood through early career; coming into it at latter points with opportunity and support just when both were needed most.
You never get a do-over on a first impression. Period. Wish I could sometimes, but you do not. Not everyone will give you the chance at a second, or even third impression. And a secret beyond that; not everyone is worth the effort of your trying to do so.
You will have people come in and out of your life. This is simply a fact and one that is is as constant as the sun's daily path. Those who, regardless of frequency of presence, remain consistent in affection and kinship; they are who you regard as true friends. True friends will be there when unfortunately Mommy and Daddy are unable and true friends appreciate Julianna as much as she does them.
Sometimes your true friends are more brother and sister than those who carry that family relation. The recognition of kinship is what Daddy and Mommy want you to be keenly aware of; how that kinship is formed bears no weight against the depth of its development and strength of its bonds.
Not everyone is always bad through and through; very rarely is there clear "black" and "white". When people are upset and do harmful things; most often it is because they felt slighted/wronged (or they are defending someone they care for). It is always best to find out the why a person is doing something. It has been my experience that why someone felt hurt by what I did mattered more than my reasons for doing that very hurtful thing. In fact, knowing the why made it that much easier to overcome the hurt.
In the same vein, people most often have a genuine underlying nature; that nature can be overshadowed by years and harsh experiences. By being sincere, polite, honest and most of all, genuine yourself; you will be able to work through the layers of harsh experience and tap into someone's own sincere and natural persona.
Lastly, never lose your smile or your laugh. They may change shape and sound as you grow into a young woman. But never lose them. Hopefully someone will appreciate and adore them almost as much as your Mommy and Daddy do.
So that's it. Pretty much those are the lessons that come to mind and I do hope to see some that I overlooked come flowing in my mailbox or comments to this blog. Please feel free to tell me your suggestions and responses when you have them, Jules.
P.S. I love you.
The first lesson I could share is to read the Desiderata . I have since high school and could continuously use the guidance it shares. It has been framed in my room at Phi Tau , my apartment in Law School, offices I have had, and for now sits in our home. Read it, understand it, and know why your Dad has held it in high regard through his life.
The second lesson comes from your Grandfather as he instilled in me; respect and honor your mother. She has sacrificed for you beyond measure and will continue to do so without asking for anything in return. All because you hold the special title of "daughter". Cherish the love she shares with you and you give in return; let the "love you lots" from these younger years only grow stronger throughout your older ones.
You have a talent and ability that are gifts from God. Enjoy them, hone them, share them with those who appreciate those talents and skills. We may not fully know them now when you are three; but your mother and I promise not to hold you back from developing them when they come to full light.
In the same vein, strive to not "be like Daddy" or "be like Mommy". We want you to be Julianna Grace, with all the amazing qualities your individuality possesses. Remember the back of Daddy's business cards, "Whatever you are, be a good one."
That quote is from Abraham Lincoln, perhaps our greatest President and whose life, times, philosophy, and period in our history you should read from my books (or whatever the iPad/iPhone bookshelf will have become). I am certain you could apply the teachings and see similarities in the society we have now and in the future when you read this.
Learn. Study. Whatever your mind hungers to know more of; do so in all fashion and ability. This your Grandfather wanted to make sure I did when growing up and your mother and I will hope you will follow suit. "Knowledge is power" is a cliche that is misguided; knowledge is becoming keenly aware of where you are from, where you are going, and the same directions of those you encounter.
Make sure you are always sincere and honest with everyone you meet. I can't take credit for this; your Grandfather and Uncles are the ones. Your father simply has been blessed with those who were in his life from childhood through early career; coming into it at latter points with opportunity and support just when both were needed most.
You never get a do-over on a first impression. Period. Wish I could sometimes, but you do not. Not everyone will give you the chance at a second, or even third impression. And a secret beyond that; not everyone is worth the effort of your trying to do so.
You will have people come in and out of your life. This is simply a fact and one that is is as constant as the sun's daily path. Those who, regardless of frequency of presence, remain consistent in affection and kinship; they are who you regard as true friends. True friends will be there when unfortunately Mommy and Daddy are unable and true friends appreciate Julianna as much as she does them.
Sometimes your true friends are more brother and sister than those who carry that family relation. The recognition of kinship is what Daddy and Mommy want you to be keenly aware of; how that kinship is formed bears no weight against the depth of its development and strength of its bonds.
Not everyone is always bad through and through; very rarely is there clear "black" and "white". When people are upset and do harmful things; most often it is because they felt slighted/wronged (or they are defending someone they care for). It is always best to find out the why a person is doing something. It has been my experience that why someone felt hurt by what I did mattered more than my reasons for doing that very hurtful thing. In fact, knowing the why made it that much easier to overcome the hurt.
In the same vein, people most often have a genuine underlying nature; that nature can be overshadowed by years and harsh experiences. By being sincere, polite, honest and most of all, genuine yourself; you will be able to work through the layers of harsh experience and tap into someone's own sincere and natural persona.
Lastly, never lose your smile or your laugh. They may change shape and sound as you grow into a young woman. But never lose them. Hopefully someone will appreciate and adore them almost as much as your Mommy and Daddy do.
So that's it. Pretty much those are the lessons that come to mind and I do hope to see some that I overlooked come flowing in my mailbox or comments to this blog. Please feel free to tell me your suggestions and responses when you have them, Jules.
P.S. I love you.
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